Sunday, August 12, 2007

Well, she's moved in.

Emily is now in her new home, at college. It's an old house, and she will be living with four other girls. We spent all day on Saturday moving her in. We had a huge trailer, thankfully, and a lot of help. My brother and Jami came with, and they are both workers. Plus Maggi came with, which entertained Jenna. The house is, well, a college house. But the excitement in Em's eyes? Priceless. She and her roomies shopped for a long time to find the perfect house, and I guess this one is it. I saw a horrible paint job which led to windows that don't open, slanted floors, and general disrepair. I guess it's official, I'm old. And I never led that college life, living on (or slightly off) campus. I drove 45 minutes to college every day, then back home. I was mom to Em when I was in college. And I wouldn't have it any other way.

When I dropped her off her freshman year of college, it was ugly. She was struggling to say goodbye to Jenna, and coming to terms with the changes her life was taking. And I was keeping it together because I felt I needed to be there for her, emotionally. And trust me, I can be an emotional wreck at the drop of a hat. But once we got on campus, spent some time wandering around campus, Emily, with her amazing wisdom, said "mom, I don't think I'm going to cry when you leave. No offense, but this is amazing." And it was. The people, the energy, the whole nine yards. COOL. Made me wish I would have experienced college life without a newborn. The fact that Bill cried like a baby? Well, that's a whole 'nother story.

Last year, dropping her off at the dorm again, felt like old hat. No emotional turmoil, I know that's where she belongs. She was bored at home, which was kind of hard . . . knowing she needed her wings and we were holding her back.

Fast-forward to this year, and moving her into her house. Hearing about the house for almost a year, the trip to IKEA picking out the right desk and comforter, planning for this experience . . . it was exciting! And moving her in yesterday, then going out for dinner to celebrate, looking at how happy she was, well it was a good day!

That is, until I got home. I walked into her now empty room, and it hit me. Here's the next phase of her leaving, the empty space she left behind. And while I know in my heart it's the exact place she should be, and what I always wanted for her - to be able to go out on her own with joy and confidence, it made it somehow so much more real to me. So much more final. My baby is gone. It's bittersweet, that's for certain.

Love you, my Emily.


Amy Coose said...

Your post brought tears to my eyes. Can't wait to see the page about this!!!

Elaine said...

Ms. Kay...........all I can say is if I were anywhere near you right now I would give you the biggest hug I could. I then would offer you a glass of wine (even though I don't have any one hand I would get some for ya, although it's not Thursday!)

If this helps at all. Think about how well Emily has done in all of her transitions. This because of two main reasons: she has an amazing family to support her, she is armed with so much knowledge that YOU HAVE GIVEN HER.

You are a GREAT mom.

Thanks for sharing these special moments.